I cried last night while putting Eleanor to bed because it might be the one of the last times I get to nurse her and as much as I am ready to stop it, it breaks my heart to think that she's growing up so fast. But then she bit me and I stopped crying.

They are leaving on Tuesday for Florida. I'm still not feeling 100% so I feel like I can use the break but I know I'm going to go nuts the whole time they are gone. A-man keeps saying that she'll be so tan that I won't recognize her. He loves when she looks "white" and thinks that the sun will lighten her hair and tan her skin and make her look better. Yeah, I know, he's totally nuts cuz we already have a beautiful baby and she doesn't need to look any different but I can't stop him from thinking his assinine thoughts.

I think even if they didn't go away, Eleanor is almost ready to self wean anyways. She's adamant about nursing during her naps but at night time, I say it's enough and that she "doesn't need it any more" and she just turns around and goes to sleep or flips and flops without arguing and goes to sleep eventually. It's been happeing for several days now and I can finally say for certainty that she probably doesn't need me to go to bed at night.

I'm not sure what will happen when they come back but either way, I'll miss the close bond that we have shared for the last 19+ months while nursing. I'm so glad I breastfed her for so long and probably would have continued if it wasn't for the morning sickness.