Happy Birthday to Meeee!

It's the first time I didn't plan a party for my birthday and it's the first time I'm actually really happy about my birthday. Usually I plan a party, only a handful of people show up, I get disappointed, and I want to crawl inside a hole and die.

Now that I have a baby, I don't need birthday parties for myself, I just want to spend time as a family and that's what we're planning to do today, lots of family time and I can't fucking wait! I got the camera ready. We took most of the day off work for today and tomorrow, and all I need to do is go to bed first since it's just past midnight. I'll try to take some pictures and share.

To all you drinkers, have a mojito for me. and to all you smokers, lite up a parliment lites and take a big drag for me. Hee hee:)

As of Today!!

I have paid off

my car loan,
my school loan,
and my renovation loan for new windows.

That means that after 10 years since graduating college, I'm finally DONE with college, you know what I mean. I've been paying for my damn degree that i don't use for the last 10 years and I never have to think about it ever again.

Paying off my car which I bought before baby and which is totally useless since it has only 2 doors except going to work and getting good gas mileage, is just an extra bonus.

Plus paying that damn loan for replacing all the windows in my house is also one of those things i wish I could forget because I hate the windows, it never closes right.

All in all, I am so happy that I just knocked off 3 payments a month from our expenses. Now i can concentrate on paying off our credit card AND mortgage.

Yippeee!!!

Overwhelmed

It's day 2 of finding out that I'll be participating in a street fair and all I got done today was order business cards. wait, I don't even think I ordered it yet. It's still in my "cart". It's so hard to make final decision right now when there's so much going on.

I'm also in the process of redoing my business. The business that pays for our food and water. So I have to take care of that one first and we've been planning on ordering a new awning, adding some window decals to cover up these windows that we don't use, and ordering a new parking for customers' sign. I also designed the parking sign online but again, it's just sitting in the "cart" because I'm just afraid to commit incase I made a spelling error or something and I can't ask A-man cuz he's working, yes, it's past midnight and he's working. Yay for ambition!!!
I'm also making new curtains and matching panels for the shop and I got it started today but didn't finish. I'm hoping I'll finish tomorrow but there might be a mountain load of work for me to do in the morning so who knows if I'll get to that. and until I do, there will be 3 mismatched prints that are up right now.

Did I mention that my house is a sty with a capital S? It's so gross. I don't even want to go into details.

I need to go to bed. why is it when I have the most work to do, I update my blog more often?

Nighty night.

Why do I read the news?

I always hate what I find.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/13/family.trailer.captive/index.html

Randomness

I think Elle's getting her molars. It's not fun in this house right now.
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I got "accepted" to participate in Chicago's biggest Street fair and I am so excited. I thought we were rejected, well we were at first but then they just told us today that they had some spaces open up and we got in. "We" are me plus 3 other Chicago crafters that I've met this year who make some cool shit. The problem is that it's on September 13-14th so I only have a month. I've been so busy with trying to baby proof my house for my newly turned one year old baby turned stunt woman, that I haven't been able to organize my craft room which I shoved into my back spare room. But I guess this is the time.

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My mom is finally coming back tomorrow from her vacation and am I glad. She's my employee, ha ha. She helps me out at my store and does most of the alterations which I've been having to do so it's been a long 2 week for this mama. And I'm excited to see her again. I might regret that come Friday.

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I have to mail out my Thank you card for Elle's birthday party, ummmm from June 29th!! I know, I've always sucked at Thank you Cards. I still haven't sent any for my wedding and that was 4 years ago. It's eating at me everyday but I just don't have the motivation. and is it bad that I've forgotten who half the gifts were from. Yes, I suck.

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I'm so proud of A-man, he's been up until the weeeeeeee hours of the morning trying to work from home. He wants to start his own machine shop but until we can afford to rent a place for him, he has all his machines in the garage and he got a "job" order from his "internship" and he's been working really hard to get it done and do it well. He's doing this WHILE teaching himself this crazy CNC 3-phase mill thingy which basically needs to be programed to cut metal. and it's all numbers and decimals and axes (plural of axis, I know it looks wrong but it isn't, weird). Anyways, I'm proud of him and hopeful now that he's got his first potentially paying job. This is my only hope to be a stay at home mom so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and helping him out by giving him time and space, and nap time:)

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/aug/11/olympicsbasketball.olympics20081

Seriously???? FUck you!!

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Who wants an awesomely cooked meal with dessert? and maybe a custom purse. All you have to do is clean my house.

My first garage sale

I have never done a garage sale but I got the chance to do it with a friend who does it pretty much annually with her sister and several friends. Besides having to watch Elle and relentless bargaining, it was a ton of fun. I'm already thinking of my next one and to learn from my mistakes and try to do it differently so I can get more sales. My main problem is that I love all my stuff, my taste is pretty consistent so if I purchased it at some point in my life, I still really like it. The problem is that there's just so much stuff that I need and my basement is getting more and more crowded each year. The sad thing is that I still have boxes of crap from when I moved in. I moved in 4 years ago!!!!! That's just wrong. But I didn't have time to go through all my boxes so I grabbed everything that I could and headed out this morning.

I have nice stuff. I don't skimp on quality usually unless it's something functional and it's a dime a dozen. So I priced them as I saw fit. Well, the patrons didn't agree with me and just haggled and haggled but I didn't back down. It makes me not want to sell it to them when they're being vultures about it. So needless to say, I'm really not garage sale material and I didn't make much money today but I have a ton of shit that I need to get rid of so I will do it again. And next time, I'll be a little better about pricing, just a little cuz it's not like I'm pricing them all that much.

Fuck you, DVR!

Do you know how critical the last 5 minutes of a show is? Why can't you record on time of the show and end when the show ends? You fucking bastard. I don't have much time to watch television. I watch 2 shows a week and just because the show got pushed back because of the fucking NFL doesn't mean that you can't digitally figure out what time the show ends?? Arggghhhhh, it's so frustrating. and I can't even say which program it is because I'm too embarrased to admit that I watch this show. I have to hover over the television to even listen to the show so I don't wake up my baby in the middle of the night.

ok, maybe I'll admit it. I've been secretly obsessed with....

So you think you can dance. I fucking love that show. I love dance and this group was just amazing and I love each and everyone of the top 10. I haven't seen the show since the first season but now that I have DVR I can record and watch only the shows that I like and the stupid DVR always misses the last few minutes of a show and usually reality shows or finales of any show goes a few minutes later anyways. You would think I would have learned my lesson and program it to record after the show ends but I don't have time think that far in advance when I watch 2 fucking shows a week.

Anyways, I like this group so much I even looked into buying tickets for the tour (I can't believe I'm writing this) but the main, good seats are sold out. I can't believe it and I don't think I'm willing to pay that much if my seat isn't awesome.

oh, so now you know what a fucking dork I really am.

but now that I admitted it, does anyone that live in Chicago want to go with me? My friends would laugh me out if I asked them so don't tell them. shhhh!

Kissed by an Angel

So pretty much every time I see Elle, I ask for a kiss in korean that goes something like this..

"Umma, Po Po?"

and every time I get rejected. Usually with a turn of the head or a smack on the face, or both.

But I try every time.

Yesterday morning, I had put her to sleep on our bed when she woke up at 5 AM. She woke up and as usual stood up and headed for the edge of the bed and I asked:

"Umma, Po Po?

She looked at me, thought for a second and walked towards me.

and do you know what she did?

She puckered up, looked at my face and kissed my lips ever so lightly and without biting me.

I was in glorious heaven. My baby kissed me and she meant it. That also means that she understood what I said and what I wanted. She's a regular person now who can communicate with me. I'm still flying high just thinking about it.

What do you sound like?

Do you have an accent? Do you talk slow and precise or fast and all over the place?

In a world where everyone and their mother is on the internet, we seem to lose ourselves in the system, falling under the virtual spell. I've always been a computer person, not the kind that knows how to program something but the type that will spend hours searching, emailing, reading, and just wasting time. Since having a baby, it's been the ultimate source of information, meditation, relaxation, and even friendship. What better way to get to know someone than to share a common bond? That common bond for me has been my baby. Before Elle was born, I was completely self absorbed and only cared to spend my time for myself. Had blogs been popular then, I suppose I would have jumped right in. As soon as I learned that I was pregnant, I went online to retrieve every bit of information that I could possibly get to be prepared. That's me, Miss Preparation. I'm a virgo so can you blame me.

On my quest to find everything I could about how to deal with pregnancy, what to expect, how to raise a child, how to be a good parent, etc. I stumbled upon a message board with a group of other moms expecting their baby around the same time. I jumped right in reading and sharing personal accounts of what we were going through as first time pregnant moms-to-be, or soaking up all the advices given by other experienced moms. In doing so, I started bonding with several moms. I jumped from one message board to another and yet to another and I have made some amazing friends and some friends that I thought were friends but when I "stopped" frequenting the boards, I was immediately forgotten, "out of site, out of mind".

How do you share all your personal stories and all your wishes and dreams online with a bunch of strangers and not feel a bond with them? These people have seen my belly grow from the already chubby belly to a huge pregnant, baby caring, belly. These women know my every stretch mark to the type of diapers I prefer using. Now that my baby is a year old, it's been almost 2 years since I started meeting these moms and if you think about it, that's a hell of a long time to know someone. I have friends in real life that I haven't known for that long. And now that I'm blogging, I have found more friends that I share a common bond with, be it my ethnicity or musical taste.

The real test of these online friendship is how much you interact with them outside of the message board or the blog. You go back and forth saying how much you want to meet them in real life but what happens if that opportunity really arises? and what happens if you stop frequenting the one "place" where you met them to start with.

Would these people be the person that you built up in your own mind? When you read something that someone else wrote, you get to read it as happy, sad, sarcastic, or boring as you want it. You get to picture their voices and the faces if you haven't seen a picture of them already. You are basically the director that shapes this person that you only know online. When you saw the first picture of that person that you've been chatting with for so long, are you surprised, disappointed, or just right on? Have you ever got a chance to talk to these people? Do they sound as lively or goofy or smart or whatever the way that you have been reading their posts?

It's funny how easily we trust someone. At least I do, unless they give you a reason not to. When A-man heard that these "strangers" online knew our home address he flipped out. When I'm typing away on these messsage boards or blogging, he always asked "are you talking shit about me, ....again?". Maybe I'm gullible, too trusting, or maybe I just want to believe that we are all similar and want the same things in life and in many of these cases, it's to learn more about being a better parent.

It's really easy to just type away and pause and think about what you plan on saying so the transition from being online to actually talking on the phone with someone is huge! I had a recent personal drama that I wanted to talk about and not just write about it so I picked up the phone and called one of my online friends. It was wonderful, she was as great, caring, and genuine as I pictured her in my mind. I suppose you can pick up on most of a person's character even if you only know them online. Ironically, another friend picked up her phone and called me the very next night so after almost 2 years of knowing these 2 women and never having talked to them, I got to talk to them on the same weekend.

Now the next stage is to meet these people and I'm more than ecstatic to say that I will be meeting one of them in a couple of months. Thank goodness for business trips!! I am a nervous wreck about it because what if I'm not the person that she pictured in her mind. What if I bore her silly with my laid back personality? What if we don't have anything to talk about? It's one thing to read something the way you want to read it, or hide behind a phone when you're saying it, but if it's face to face, there's not much room for bullshit and surprises. But I have hope. I feel like I can talk to this person forever, I know she's the non-judgemental, open-minded, strong, individual, person that I painted in my mind and I know we'll have a wonderful time when we get together.

If you're reading this, you obviously have an interest in blogs in general, or me specifically or what someone else is going through, or is it just seeing cute baby pictures? Whatever the case, I hope that if we ever do meet in person, that I don't disappoint you. Because, I don't hide much. I'm caring but bitchy. I'm shy but arrogant, I'm loud sometimes but peaceful in general, but most importantly I am genuine and bluntly honest (which isn't always a good thing:).

Etsy Shop

I started a separate blog for my etsy shop items, mainly so I can update my customers without having them read about my drama on my personal blog. hee hee. Perhaps some of you are not familiar with my etsy shop as well so check it out and let me know what you think. It's a work in progress. Had I had some time to spend on it, I would add cool graphics and shit but I don't have that luxury. I barely have time to fulfill my orders but I love doing it so spread the love and help me stay at home doing the two things I love to do, watch my baby girl and create unique handmade items.

http://ohlieoh-hydroxide.blogspot.com

Happy 13 months!

This last month was a record breaker. Where did 31 days go? I can't believe how fast she's growing. She's walking, talking, climbing, and doing just about everything a person can do. She's no longer a baby baby. I'm so glad that I have as many pictures as I do because each and every moment is precious and amazing.

Happy 13 month old, my love!