I just don't. I think it's evil and malicious. Babies can't tell you what's wrong and how they feel so how could a mom let a baby cry for hours by themselves to sleep. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. However, I completely understand why a mom HAS to do it. If the mom needs to go back to work or is physically weak from lack of sleep and no OTHER method works, then I do kinda understand why they might let their baby cry it out.
I have never let Eleanor cry it out. She has always been given immediate attention and after 16 months, she still nurses 1-2 hours a night. Some times I might get 3 hours of continuous sleep from her but those are far and few between. Yes, I know it sounds crazy and my nipples are paying for it not to mention my lack of sleep. But I'm really blessed to be able to stay at home for the most part. I went back to work when she was 2 months old but I own my own business and only have to go in for a couple of hours a day. So the rest of my days were/are spent with her and if I wanted to nap, I could have. Having said that, I really wish I could get a full nights rest. But more importantly, I wish Eleanor could sleep a full night. She constantly has bags and dark circles under her eyes. She's not anemic. She's just tired. And since she's constantly nursing, she doesn't get hungry and does not eat or drink very well. I see other babies stuff massive amounts of food and then cry for more. I see and hear how they sleep uninterupted for 10-12 hours a night. I don't mind staying up all night. I'd do anything for Eleanor but I feel like she's not getting enough sleep and enough nutrition. Therefore, I am considering letting her cry it out. If it doesn't work and she is set on nursing to sleep or waking up every couple of hours, So be it. But if it does indeed work and it helps her sleep through the night, I'd be ecstatic.
I have thought about doing it for months but I chicken out after 5 minutes of hearing her cry. So after 16 months, I'm finally ready. We'll see if I follow through but what else am I to do? I spent the weekend with a friend and her baby who gets put down for bed in her crib, awake and she just sleeps on her own. Never crying and waking up as happy and cute as can be. I want that for Eleanor. I want her to be rested and wake up hungry to eat whatever I give her. It might not happen but I suppose I need to try. If she ate well I suppose I could live with her waking up all the time to nurse. Of if she slept well, I could nurse her all day long, knowing that she's content sleeping and not hungry.
It's going to be hard. I might chicken out yet again, but something needs to change because she's so stubborn and I really did spoil her rotten by being so accommodating so as she gets older, it's time to implement some tough love. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.
I don't believe in crying it out.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 | at 10:18 AM |
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3 comments:
Awww, good luck. That is rough!
I have three. My first one slept with me until he was about 6 years old and woke me up at night until he was about two. There were times I thought it would never end and I was so exhausted and I wanted my privacy...blah blah. Now, looking back, it was sweet and important and something I tell him all of the time and I'm so glad that he was such a cuddler.
My second never wanted to be held when she slept starting at about three weeks old...and slept through the night by 6 weeks old. That was pure luck and at the time I felt jipped that she didn't want to cuddle like my son did.
Now I have three and its pretty much middle ground. Because she is one of three I don't have the option some times to lay with her until she falls asleep because I have to take care of the house and other kids...but she has always went to sleep in her own bed and maybe cried for a few minutes four or five nights of her life (out of her 17 months). She just knows she has to put herself to sleep.
She still comes in our bed in the middle of the night 3-4 times a week though. She almost always falls right back asleep though and I secretly love it because it is the best of both worlds.
My suggestions...if you let her cry it out set a time limit so you know it will eventually end and you can get her (maybe let her cry for 5 minutes and then go and reassure her). Also, we only let Hayden have water in her cup in the middle of the night and we just keep it next to the bed so either of us can get it and take care of her.
Good luck!!! I promise, either way you will do the right thing for you....and that is all that really matters.
-Diana
You can do it. It might take you a few tries but it is possible. Duk, my older daughter, was just like Eleanor - never slept through the night, so sleep deprived and could not sleep by herself. Finally at two and half, after Kook was born, we forced the issue. It took a while but it worked.
Part of it is the personality of the child. She is now five and still wakes up in the middle of night for various reasons. Take is slow. With time,patience and guidance, Eleanor will learn to fall back asleep by her self.
For what it's worth, we did a modified CIO and I was amazed at what a difference it made. I'd let him cry for 10 minutes and if there was no sign of him letting up, I'd go in and soothe him however I needed to (paci, boob, rocking, whatever). Usually, by the 7 minute mark his cries would slow down and by 10 minutes he'd be back to sleep with a thumb in his mouth.
Having said that, he does still wake up usually once a night, but it's not until at least 4 a.m. and then I nurse him and he goes back to sleep.
Just what worked for us.
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