so frustrated

I've complained endlessly about my MIL but never of my own mom and so this post is dedicated strictly to my umma.
My mom is the typical traditional Korean mother. She's all about materialism and looks and what other people think of her. We don't agree on anything but I am the most close to her of my siblings because even being the yongest I completely understand where she came from and I don't let her opinions get to me or at least I didn't used to let it bother me. But since becoming pregnant, her opinions on my parenting style and what she says to my daughter is really bothering me.

Today she came over to help me with Eleanor and even though she brought me homecooked dishes and wiped my hardwood floors on her hands and knees, she didn't help me watch Eleanor at all. The second she comes over, she complains about how Eleanor is naked and that she should be spanked when she takes her clothes off. I personally don't mind that she runs around naked, she's a baby, and she likes to take off her clothes, so the fuck what?? Who cares if she is naked at home, in the summer, at her own house? She doesn't strip down when she's at other peoples homes! So before my mom comes, I usually make sure that elle is dressed but I forgot today. But even when I don't forget and she is dressed, then my mom usually complains about her hair and how it's too long. I never wanted to cut her hair but after a ridiculous amount of complaining from my mom, I let her cut her bangs to get it out of her eyes, if we never had cut it, it would have been long enough now to tuck it back. Anyways, she just doesn't stop trying to tie her hair and if elle removes the rubber band, then she tells her how ugly she looks.

I'm 4 days post partum and even though she's here to help me with elle she doesn't do anything, including helping her go to the bathroom. She just sits with her while Elle watches tv. I can do that myself.

Plus when I hold abby or go see her, my mom tells me to leave her alone. Abby sleeps all day and is up all nght and I don't have anytime to hold my new baby. So why can't I hold her? I usually don't wake her up to feed but I'll do it occasionally just to hang out with her. She complains that I hold her too much and I've ruined Eleanor becuase I held her too much so I need to stop doing that with abby.

Plus when abby was born, all she said was how she doesn't have any dimples like Eleanor and that she's not going to be as cute because she doesn't have dimples and her face is round. And when other people see the abby for the first time while she's there, she'll just point out how she doesn't have dimples and that she has a round face, um like me. She never points out any good traits about anyone, just the negative and it really pisses me off. She really pisses me off!!